I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
