i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
