Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
