i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
