He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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