her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
