I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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