Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
