After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
