actually, I'm a sock model
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
