I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
