You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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