Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
