you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
