I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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