were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
