Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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