i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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