Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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