had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
