I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
