You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
