I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Shame - the story of my life.
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