I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he shaved USA in his pubs
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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