Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
