To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
