Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
