i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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