do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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