Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
