i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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