Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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