it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
