I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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