I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
