yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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