so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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