Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
