please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
