why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
