He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
