You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
