Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
