I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
