part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
