Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
