I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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