end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
