Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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