I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
