just tell him i said nine months
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
